once you graduate its rather ironic how the most important thing suddenly drops off the list altogether. the items that were next on the list were things like making money, friends, and getting girl to like me. i naturally just slid them all up the list and they are what has create the pillars of my life ever since. I have now spent the 5 years since college trying to figure out how to prioritize those 3 things and how to maximize my happiness by using them.
Making money is important and i am willing to admit it. I dont get pride out of having a large number show up on a secure website, but once the number gets above a certain threshold i know i have nothing to worry about. To me money isnt something that can make me happy but no money is something that can make me not happy. money to me is also directly related to my job and as a bonus sometimes my job can actually make me happy. Now this is the first part of the theory of three pillars. many people, especially young people, think that you can gain happiness by focusing on your job. I believe that this approach is like putting all your weight on 1 leg of a chair. You are relying on 1 thing for your all your happiness. Thats a lot of pressure for 1 thing and i think in the end it just wont be good enough.
Another popular approach is people who like to talk about 'work/life balance'. this is actually just a nice way of saying that my life is more important than my job. this is actually better than just focusing on your job, your life is more involved, but there are some downsides. the biggest issue is that you are completely eliminating something that could be a positive factor in your life. so youll be spending exactly 40 hours every week simply wasting your time on something you dont care about. This approach will have the same impact on making you hate your job. No matter how great this method seems it destroys the actual balance that it claims to foster.
Now lets just hammer out the whole outside-of-work life thing. Even if you have the job part down and you understand you cant spend all your time at work you still have some pitfalls to avoid. Again there are 2 camps and neither 1 is any good; you can be 'focused on yourself and finding a girl/boy will happen' or 'at a point where i would like to find someone'. If youre not looking for someone then you probably arent going to find anyone. everything in life requires effort and the best way to meet people is through friends. But remember if you dont actually have a boy/girlfriend you are going to be relaying on those friends for a lot. I would argue if you have balanced work and friends you can have a pretty life going. However, without the significant other you are going to feel like something is missing. If your focused on finding the boy/girlfriend that can be a lot worse. doing this will lead to a lot of compromises like neglecting work or friends. Oh and just like everything else putting this kind of pressure on just that one person is going to ruin the relationship.
You've probably noticed a theme repeating here; dont put all your eggs in 1 basket. so you are best served by spreading your risk and creating a full support system. Thus the 3 pillars which create the support system. Job, Relationship, and Friends. Dont put too much weight on any pillar and dont neglect any pillar. stay vigilant and remember that you can always take stock of your life and refocus yourself.
